Passion Play
by Catty Engles
Summary: In preparation for their wedding night, Bella and Edward discover they need to practice being intimate together. He lusts for her flesh as both a vampire and a man, in pushing the boundaries of their physical relationship, they find a new kind of love.
1. My Own Personal Siren

_Be prepared for a more realistic look at teenage romance rather than Stephanie Meyer's somewhat sterile treatment of the subject in her Twilight series. "Passion Play" takes place after Eclipse, though it doesn't strive to answer all the questions that the next book in the series certainly will. Enjoy._

**Passion Play**

**Chapter One: My Own Personal Siren**

Edward's hands were in my hair, his breath rippling along my jaw line as he cautiously placed a line of kisses down my neck. His body was pressed against mine, his other hand tracing the curve of my back. Edward's smell filled my head until I was giddy with its intoxicating flavor. It was so extraordinarily pleasurable that my mouth opened inadvertently and a gasp shuddered through me to get caught in my throat. Edward froze at the slight movement my sharp intake of breath had produced and I sighed, frustrated as his fingers gently untwined themselves from my hair and he straightened up to look me in the eyes, noting my exasperation.

"I warned you not to move," he admonished, smiling, as he settled back on the long black couch in his room to which we had retreated for some privacy.

"I know," I groaned, failing for the umpteenth time at remaining motionless while Edward was anywhere near me. "I can't help it if my body reacts to you. It's like an impulse… or an instinct."

"That is a very appropriate word choice, Bella," Edward teased huskily as he wrapped his arms around me, bringing my face to his. He cupped my chin, holding my gaze with his smoldering topaz eyes. "I am incredibly aware of the struggle against instinct when we are like this."

He dipped his face to my neck again, and I could hear him breathing in the smell of my throat. A pleasant shiver ran down my spine. Invigorated, I reached up to Edward's neck, slipping my fingers just under his shirt and caressing his collar bone. And before I knew it, Edward was a stone again, retreating from the nearness and disentangling my hand from his collar.

I blew a lock of hair from my eyes in irritation, and reading the aggravation on my face, Edward didn't release my hand. Instead he held it to his cheek while he spoke, "I understand what this must be like for you," I leveled a glare at him and he chuckled, "Well, maybe not entirely, but you must be patient with me, Bella."

"Is that all you're fighting against? The instinct that makes you want to…" I trailed off, knowing full well that my vampire boyfriend, now fiancé, in some part of him, no matter how much he wanted to deny it, lusted for my blood.

"And, for this," Edward guided my hand to his chest. "I want my soul to be as undamaged as is possible so that I can love you with every piece of it. And waiting until there is something here," he lightly tapped the ring finger of my left hand, "just means I have more of a chance to give you a soul that is slightly closer to being worthy to exchange for yours." He smiled crookedly back at me.

I couldn't help but smile in response. His words were beautiful, vows of love with the simple romance of an earlier time. But still, something nagged at me, "But… but is there perhaps something else that you have to resist?" I dropped my eyes, my cheeks burning as I posed this question.

I could feel Edward's fingers rubbing small circles into the back of the hand he still held to his chest, and then the pressure increased as the silence lengthened and I refused to look up from the floor. "Damn it, Bella, what the deuce are you thinking?" Edward pleaded and my eyes sprang back to his, they were wide with confusion. It tormented him not to be able to read my thoughts as he could with others.

I bit my lip, caught in the obligation to explain what was on my mind. I wished that I had never brought it up. Edward's brow furrowed as he saw my face distort into a mask of indecision and distress. I squirmed under his gaze. Why was it this agonizing to ask a simple question? I struggled a moment longer, then finding courage from Edward's worried, loving face, I voiced my concerns.

"I know that you… lust… after me, as a vampire, but do you maybe feel similarly about me, as… as a… man?" My voice had tapered out into a whisper and it was impossible to meet his eyes as I asked the question that had been burning inside me.

A shocked silence followed as Edward absorbed my inquiry, then he chuckled quietly. "Oh, Bella," Edward whispered seductively, "you still do not comprehend the effect you have on me." At that, I raised my eyes inquiringly. Edward took my hand in his icy fingers and slowly turned it palm up, punctuating his words with kisses on the inside of my wrist. "You, my love, are my very own personal siren call. When I am with you, you send thrills of desire through the air between us until my very being thrums with yearning to be beside you, to make you love me, to pleasure you in any way imaginable."

All this while, Edward had locked his eyes with mine while he drew lines of fire with his lips over my wrist, then my forearm, then the inside of my elbow. He pushed the sleeve of my shirt back to expose my shoulder so that he could caress the skin there with the lightest of kisses. My heart was doing summersaults in my chest, and my eyes were wild as he once again reached my neck.

I forced myself to remain immobile as he continued to explore the hollow of my neck with his lips and fingertips. I still had to say something, but Edward's persistent kisses scrambled my thoughts and it took time for me to construct an intelligible question.

"You said any way imaginable…" I began, finding it harder to stay safely motionless as I felt the tip of Edward's tongue flick out to trace my collar bone.

"Mmmm," Edward inhaled the scent of my hair while he ran his fingers through it, "Yes, I did say that."

"You know what way I'm imagining." I stated. Edward didn't need to read my mind to know what I wanted, it was the only experience that I wanted to have before I ceased being human, the only condition I had set down for him to meet.

Edward was doing something amazing to my ear and I had to bite the inside of my cheek hard not to react, yet a small whimper escaped from my lips. "I want to make sure we'll be able to… do everything imaginable." I concluded less than tactfully. We had never openly spoke of my stipulation, though we were both aware of what it was.

Edward's lips hesitated near my ear, and he hovered between kissing me and drawing away. "What are you getting at, Bella?" The frustration in not knowing my mind as intimately as he did everyone else around him was seeping into his voice again.

I took a deep breath before continuing, "If I have trouble controlling myself when we're just kissing, who's to say that we'll ever be able to… you know." I blushed.

"Make love to one another?" Edward whispered silkily in my ear, and suddenly all my self-control was gone. He had said what had been on both of our minds for so long, and in the moment of declaration, I felt my body respond so strongly to him that it was impossible for me to hold back any longer.

I turned my face towards him and crushed my lips against his, molding my body to his powerful chest. To my great surprise, Edward did not pull away, did not freeze, did not chuckle and move away from me. He reacted.

He met my passionate embrace, tumbling us back onto the couch, grinding his hips into mine. Ecstasy. He was massaging my shoulders with his wonderful, glorious hands. Bliss. Rapture. I wrapped my legs around his as he slipped his tongue between my lips, probing at my mouth. Elation. Delight. Paradise.

My mind couldn't keep up with the sudden turn of events. For once, Edward wasn't holding back and my senses were overloaded with his scent, his taste, even his presence. I let myself go, gripping his shoulders and arching my back, rapturous.

But finally it came. Edward was suddenly across the room, panting. I gasped, reaching out a hand to him, "Please come back," I begged.

"In a moment," he replied, clearing his throat and straightening his shirt. Then he fixed me with his eyes. "You, Bella, should not be as tempting as you are if you want me to be able to contain myself," he said wryly, finally sidling over next to me.

"But this time," Edward said, a smile beginning to form on his face, "your flesh was more tempting to the man than it was to the vampire. I distanced myself because the only thought in my mind was how quickly I would be able to undo your shirt." He said as he fingered one of the buttons on my blouse.

I was awed by this revelation, not able to believe that Edward the man could want Bella the woman as much as Edward the vampire wanted Bella the human. With trembling fingers I reached for his collar once again, pulling aside his shirt so I could stroke the base of his neck. A rumble of pleasure escaped his throat and his eyes fluttered shut.

"You cannot imagine how pleasurable that is," Edward murmured.

"Oh, I have an idea," I whispered, concentrating on Edward's hand that had traveled to my neck as well. We stayed like that for a moment before I spoke. "I think we need to practice," I said.

"Practice this?" Edward asked, eyes still closed as my hand moved to stroke just beneath his jaw. "Yes, I believe we should practice this often," he replied lightly.

I laughed softly. "This along with other things. Just to make sure we're ready for… for our wedding night," I concluded in a whisper.

Edward's eyes opened and they flashed with intuition as he finally understood my concerns. He gathered me in his arms, effortlessly rearranging my body so that my head was against his chest. "Ah, I see now. You are doubtful that we will be ready to make love when the time comes." A delightful shiver trembled through my body as he named the act once again. "And so you believe that we should practice intimacy to test our control."

"Mmhmm," I mumbled, cuddling closer to Edward's neck. He wrapped his powerful arms around me and kissed my hair.

"That can be arranged," he murmured. He stiffened, suddenly alert. "But at this moment," he said, "Alice is on her way here with some interesting news."

I only had time to straighten up before Alice danced through the doorway, squealing with delight. "Kate's coming to visit!" She cried, doing a little spin on the spot.

"Who's Kate?" I asked.

"A friend from Denali," Edward explained in a low voice. "Do you know why she's coming, Alice?"

"Oh, I don't know. Does it matter? She'll be here a little after midnight!" Alice's eyes lit up, "Oh, Edward, she has a new car. But I'm not going to say anything else. I can't wait for you to see it!"

Alice flapped her hands in an almost human manner, dancing on the spot, "You're the first ones I've told. I have to go tell Esme so we can prepare a guest room. But, oh, Bella, I'm so excited for you to meet her. Oh, and tomorrow, don't forget, girls night." She waggled a finger at me. "You better be there, or I'll take Edward hostage."

"Like you could keep me away from Bella," he smirked at Alice. Alice simply laughed and waved goodbye to both of us before she was out the door in a flash.

The current of air from the door closing ruffled the curtains, drawing both of our eyes to the window. The sun had already sunk beyond the horizon. I sighed as Edward stood up, offering me his hands. "I'll take you home, hopefully Alice will allow me that one little freedom before she locks me away."

I playfully patted his cheek, "I have every intent on going to girl's night tomorrow, so don't worry about your liberty. No one will take you hostage unless you want them to."

Abruptly I was in his arms again, "Oh, but I dearly want to be taken hostage by someone."

I was powerless against his melting eyes. "Oh?" Was all I could manage to say.

"Though my heart no longer beats, it is your hostage for all time," Edward whispered against my lips, sealing the promise with a gentle kiss. I nearly fainted, and when he finally drew away, it took me several moments to regain my balance. Edward chuckled lightly, "I guess we do have to practice."

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Please review, your comments are both encouraging and thought-provoking. Thanks for checking out my story, and I hope you are enjoying it so far.


	2. Persuasion is an Art of Seduction

_I want to extend a heartfelt thanks to all of you who reviewed. Your enthusiasm means a lot (especially in relation to how quickly I get new chapters up). This particular one is quite sexy…_

**Passion Play**

**Chapter Two: Persuasion is an Art of Seduction**

Edward Cullen is not a boy you get used to quickly. Or in my case, at all. I was always enormously thankful when he agreed to spend the night with me, even though he had occupied my bed for the better part of the last few months.

That night, as we lay cuddled in the bed, reading a book together, Edward rested his hand on my stomach. I was wearing red pajama pants and a loose white tank top. He slid his hand under my shirt, to lightly trace my bellybutton. Goosebumps broke out over my skin from the light, soothing sensation of his touch and the iciness of his fingers. I turned to him, questioningly. He was gazing at me. "Just practicing," he murmured melodically.

I tried to concentrate on my book, but I kept losing my place as his fingers traveled across my belly to my sides as they slowly inched my shirt up higher and higher. I gave up trying to read, closing the book and slowly and laying my head back to rest on his shoulder as he continued to stroke my body.

When my shirt had been pushed up high above my navel, Edward started again from the other direction, lightly tracing a line down my neck, over my chest where my heart beat frantically and even further downward until his fingers lay poised before the valley between my breasts. My breath was coming quickly as he pushed my shirt down ever so slightly. He drew his hand away and I peeked at him.

Edward's eyes were riveted on my face. I met his gaze, finding myself braver and more in control than I thought was ever possible around him. "It's okay." I breathed, finding my voice, "I am yours. You're allowed to look."

Edward hesitated for a moment, but seeming to find permission in my face, he let his eyes roam my body. I had never felt more exposed, but at the same time, more admired, evident by the expression on Edward's face. "Beautiful," he exhaled, his eyes returning to mine.

He kissed my forehead lightly, returning my shirt to its former drape. He looked almost relieved. "Well, that is enough testing my control for one night," he chuckled dryly, passing a hand through his hair. I could do nothing but smile at him, still amazed that he found me even remotely attractive.

Edward stroked my face from cheekbone to jaw line, and then smoothly drew me against him to kiss my eyes before I fell asleep. I dreamed only of him.

Dewy light was just beginning to stream through the window, muffled by thick grey clouds, though they weren't the heavy black that portended drenching rainfall, maybe a light misting later in the day. I opened my eyes wearily, resting my chin on my pillow and breathing in deeply. Edward's smell lingered on the fabric and I smiled giddily as I turned to look at him.

He wasn't in my bed. My face dropped. I cast around the room anxiously. I threw off the covers and padded downstairs. Charlie had already left for the morning and there was no sign of Edward in the kitchen or the living room. Disappointed, I made my way back up the stairs to the bathroom.

Desultorily, I went through the motions of readying myself for the day, mystified and fretful about Edward's absence. I threw on a lacy camisole, a zip up hoodie, and some jeans. Just as I was finishing breakfast, a loud knock sounded on my door. I sprang for it.

At first I thought it was Jacob who stood on the stoop, but then I recognized one of his pack members, Seth Clearwater. He looked embarrassed and edgy, emotions that were incompatible with his tall frame a burly strength, the hallmark of a La Push werewolf.

"Hiya, Bella," he said, slightly shame-faced.

"Hi, Seth," I hedged, discomfited by his agitation.

"I bet you're wondering why I'm here," Seth said as he looked at his toes. It was becoming clearer to me that the Black family was somehow involved. Either Billy or Jacob was still intent on sending me warnings concerning the Cullens.

"Yes, that's exactly what I'm wondering," I said coolly, already on guard.

Seth had the good grace to look ashamed about the news he bore. I sighed, taking pity on him. "Why don't you come in?" I offered wearily, resigning myself to the prospect of some unwanted advice.

"Oh, sure," Seth said warily, obviously not expecting any leniency in my attitude. He had probably been warned about my stubborn streak. He walked across the threshold and stood awkwardly in the doorway as I returned to washing my breakfast dishes. He lingered in the entryway, unsure of what he was to do next as I ran the water in the sink. I was only going to be so hospitable. I let him sweat.

Finally he spoke, "I, uh, have a message for you. From Jacob." Seth paused, waiting for a reaction. I calmly set a dish on the drying rack, not looking up. He gulped and continued, "He says that he accepts your invitation, and thanks you for another chance. That… oh geez." Seth wiped his hands on his pants, uncomfortable with what he had to say next.

I snapped the dishtowel I was using, bracing myself on the sink with one soapy hand, and turned to face Seth with the other hand on my hip. "Go ahead. Say it. Once you phase again, Jacob will know whether or not you told me your whole message. And if you didn't he'll just turn you around and send you back and we'll have another pleasant encounter."

Seth digested the truth to my words. When he was in werewolf form with the rest of his pack members, there were no secrets between any of them. He seemed to come to some internal decision. "Okay, well, Jacob says that he's still not giving up and as long as there's hope… he'll be trying."

"As long as there's hope," I scoffed. "He means as long as I'm human." I grabbed a dish that was already clean and set to rubbing it furiously with my dishtowel, my posture rigid. Then a thought occurred to me. The last time I had seen Jacob, he was bandaged and bruised, recovering from a fight with a newborn vampire. A fight he had engaged in because of me. My rubbing slowed.

I turned to Seth more slowly, "How is Jacob anyway?" I asked, careful to hide the full force of my curiosity.

Seth immediately looked guarded. I could tell that he was responding to more of Jacob's orders. "He's fine," Seth said shortly.

My mind immediately jumped into overdrive. Jacob wasn't recovering. Jacob was healing wrong. Jacob's werewolf strength never fully came back to him. Jacob was covered in scars. Jacob was crippled. Jacob wasn't able to walk or move or eat on his own. I froze as these horrible thoughts paralyzed me. I knew I would hurt him, I just never realized how much.

"Seth, you have to tell me what's wrong with him. I need to know," I said, my voice low with intensity.

Seth backed away towards the door. "I told you. He's fine. I should get going."

"Seth, please. Tell me what's happened to my friend," I pleaded.

Seth looked at me imploringly. "I can't, Bella. Not even if I wanted to. I'm under orders," he said shortly, making for the door.

"But I have to know if he's okay!" I ran to intercept Seth from slinking out the house. I grabbed his elbow before he made it all the way out.

"I've said my piece, now I'm going to go. I told you, I can't tell you anything about Jacob. I just have to say the message and go." He flicked off my hand like it was a fly. "Bye, Bella." He hesitated for a moment before adding, "The pack…" He seemed to test the boundaries of the orders that had been placed upon him. "The pack misses you. We'd really like it if you came around more often," he added cautiously. He locked eyes with me, and I could see that he was trying to convey some hidden meaning in that look.

Something caught his attention, and he turned his head quickly towards the road. "Now I really have to go. Catch ya later, Bella!" He turned and sprinted off into the woods just as a silver Volvo sped around the corner. I stood framed in the doorway as Edward screeched to a halt outside the house, stepping out of the car like a male model and slamming the door behind him.

Anger was etched in every feature of his body. When he looked towards the house his face registered surprise, then annoyance, and finally disgust. I couldn't make sense of it. I took a step back as he approached me on the stoop.

"He's been here hasn't he." It wasn't a question. Edward's nose wrinkled in distaste. Then his brow furrowed. "No," he corrected himself before I could, "it was certainly a dog but not Jacob Black. _His_ smell is particularly pungent," he murmured to himself. "What did he want?" Edward asked forcefully, and I took another step back from him.

Tears began to sting my eyes. Edward wasn't being fair. "No." I said.

"No?" Edward asked.

"No," I repeated. "You are not the one allowed to ask the questions here. I should be the angry one. I wake up to find you're gone without any explanation and then when you do come back, you look annoyed to find me here waiting for you. And now you don't even offer any apology or reason for not being there! That's just not right." The tears were definitely coming now. I wiped the moisture from my eyes before they spilled over.

All of Edward's unexplained hostility and annoyance immediately dispersed as he swept me up into his arms. I let out one strangled sob into his shoulder as he swiftly carried me into the living room. He soothed me as he brushed my hair away from my wet face, "You dear, sweet, misguided creature," he chuckled softly. "Why do you always assume that my anger has anything to do with you?"

I blinked at him, still bewildered. He smiled at my incredulity and continued, "I was angry because of… current circumstances at home, and you're right, I shouldn't let that affect the time I spend with you. I was annoyed with myself to find you at the door, because I tried so hard to get back here before you woke up so that I wouldn't cause the distress that I was sure you would put yourself through."

He tilted my chin up until my eyes met his, "And see? I was right. You put yourself through far more distress on my behalf than I warrant I am worth."

"You are worth the world," I mumbled as I threw myself into his arms, all angry thoughts instantly forgotten in his presence.

"I'm not so sure about the _world,_" he laughed into my hair.

"You are my world," I said simply. We remained like that, embracing on the couch, until Edward slowly withdrew.

"Now am I allowed to ask questions?" He asked mockingly.

I reached for a pillow to throw at him, but he caught my wrist before I could even move. He turned my hand palm up and pressed his lips to my fingertips. "Or do I have to persuade you to tell me what happened?"

In an instant, Edward had spun me around and his hands were massaging my shoulders in glorious, firm circles. I let out a grateful sigh and slumped forward as his hands began to work out the knots in my back.

"So?" he prompted, pausing slightly to encourage my response.

"It was Seth Clearwater," I said, and Edward's hands started moving again, now following my spine down to my lower back. Through the waves of pleasure, I forced myself to continue, "He came because Jacob ordered him to give me a message."

"Hmm," Edward said, and suddenly his cool chest replaced his hands on my back. Edward's arms wrapped around me, pinning my own to my sides. He took a hold of the zipper to my hoodie and leisurely began to undo it. My body went wild.

"Go on," Edward murmured into my ear as he finished unzipping my hoodie and ever so slowly exposed my right shoulder, lightly brushing it with his lips. I closed my eyes and shut my mouth, trying to keep control of myself by breathing through my nose. My heart was beating a wild tattoo in my chest as Edward slid the rest of my hoodie off, leaving my arms and back bare.

"Bella…" Edward prompted as he shifted my hair over one shoulder, placing his hands on my belly. "You were saying?"

I gulped in air, trying vainly to recover my composure. My thoughts were scattered, and Edward's light, stimulating kisses on the back of my neck were doing nothing to aid my efforts in regrouping. I seized on a random detail that had stuck in my mind from the encounter with Seth and blurted it out, "He said something weird about accepting an invitation and thanking me for another chance but I have no idea what he was talking about."

Edward stiffened behind me, and then slowly relaxed, letting his breath out in a great sigh which made goose bumps jump into life across my shoulders. "I have a confession to make," he began warily. I couldn't quite make myself grasp the change in mood, my body was still buzzing with adrenaline.

"Please try to understand my reasoning before you speak." Edward sighed once more, readying himself, "I invited Jacob Black to our wedding."

My jaw dropped. I spun around to face him, angry words bubbling inside me. He pressed a cool, calming finger to my lips and I fought to honor his request by thinking before I spoke.

My thoughts were a furious jangle of outrage and indignation, but I tried to look at the situation objectively. Jacob was my best friend. He had saved my life, helped me- no- guided me through the time Edward had left me, and proven himself to be loyal, caring, and true to his word. I cared deeply for him. And, though I wasn't ready to admit it to Edward, some part of me was glad that he would be sharing this day with me.

Edward read the change in my face and lowered his finger. "Better?" he queried.

"If I could stay mad at you for more than a minute, I would." Edward chuckled. "But, considering the circumstances," I gestured to my hoodie lying on the ground, "and the fact that whatever I say won't make a difference to either of you, I'll just try to deal with it." I crossed my arms and added sourly, "Though I wish you would have told me."

"You would have said no," Edward said simply as he turned me back around to continue my massage.

"That's absolutely right," I responded, hard-pressed to remember what I was agreeing to as Edward's hands grazed my back and shoulders. I sighed, letting the tension flow out of me again. What would be would be.

Edward bent to kiss the curve of my neck, his hands roaming over my back and belly, making my skin tighten everywhere they brushed. In a swifter movement than I could follow, I found myself sitting between Edward's legs facing out as he slowly began working the hem of my shirt higher above my waist as he had done last night in bed. My heart kicked into overdrive and I had a fleeting concern about its health due to Edward's constant and sudden hiking of its speed, but as Edward pulled my camisole inches above my navel, all other thoughts were banished from my mind as I concentrated fully on the feel of his body against mine.

I hadn't realized how still I was holding myself until Edward paused in his caressing, and whispered with concern, "Tell me to stop if you want me to."

"No!" My voice came out as a strangled gasp, and Edward chuckled behind me. I could feel his breath on my neck.

"Bella, you said you wanted to practice. I am only fulfilling your desires, but I am unsure of the lengths you want to go to in order to ready ourselves." I turned slightly to look at him, still between his legs, and now as we faced each other, the tension between us was palpable. I kneeled in the triangle his legs made. He ran his hand up and down my arm as he spoke.

"It is becoming so much easier to suppress my darker nature when I am around you, but you do bring out whatever vestiges of human emotions and desires there are in me. To the vampire, you become easier to resist, but to the man, you become all that more alluring," Edward said softly.

I trembled as his gaze fixed me. "So it's working? Our practicing?"

"It is definitely compelling me think of you in an entirely different way. A good way. More of an added level of perception to the love I felt for you before. So yes, our practice is making an impact upon me."

"But we still need to go… further?" I waited with bated breath for his answer, a rash, impractical idea occurring to me.

Edward's face became grave, "Only if you want to, Bella. Never think for an instant that I would relinquish your comfort for my satisfaction."

I took in a shaky breath, hardly believing what I was considering, "But if I initiate it?" I asked faintly.

"You can still tell me to stop and it won't change how I feel about you a bit."

"Believe me," I laughed shakily, "You'll be the one to tell me to stop. I want you now."

Edward's eyes blazed in sudden passion, I could see him struggling to suppress it, but unwilling to do so. "I'm not halting the proceedings quite yet," he murmured.

"Good," I breathed. "I'm not quite finished."

I took the hem of my shirt, already halfway up my body, and pulled it unsteadily the rest of the way over my head, dropping it on top of my hoodie.

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_Please review._


	3. Tangible Desire

_Hello everyone! Sorry for the large gap in updating. I've been directing a play, not to mention acting in two others, so I've been in rehearsal every weekday usually until around eleven at night, and before that are classes... and sometimes food. I have schedule-induced anorexia, I swear. My play just went up and received favorable reviews, so a lot of the burden is off now and I should be updating more regularly. I also have a job lined up for summer, and the interview process was eating up a lot of the free time I would have otherwise devoted to this lovely piece of speculation. So there's my explanation for my absence. Thank you all for staying with me! Enjoy._

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**Passion Play**

**Chapter Three: Tangible Desire**

I tried to control my heaving chest as I knelt before Edward, now in only a bra and jeans. He regarded me gravely with stern eyes. "Are you sure you know what you're doing?" he asked, his face immobile and unreadable.

I wasn't about to falter. This is what I wanted. "Yes," I breathed.

"I don't believe you do," Edward's voice came out as a husky rumble, and his tongue flicked out uncharacteristically to wet his lips. He cleared his throat. "Be careful," he warned.

Caution was the last thing on my mind. I was hardly in control of my actions. My only thoughts were: Charlie wouldn't be home for at least three hours, Edward was finally reacting as a normal teenage boy should, and my entire body was tingling with anticipation.

I remained still for a moment, staring deeply into his eyes. He gazed back at me steadily. I took his hands and guided them to my hips, letting my hands continue upwards. I traced my curves, staring what I believed to be seductively into Edward's eyes. His face was unreadable as I raised his hands even higher on my body so that they were poised just beneath my breasts. If I hadn't been watching him so intently, I wouldn't have noticed his small intake of breath. It was exhilarating to see him excited… and over _me._ I desperately wanted more, and my instincts provided the next logical step. I acted before I could think about it too long and change my mind.

I reached behind my back and began fumbling with the clasp to undo my bra. Edward caught my arms before I could make any progress. He grabbed me harder than I believe he meant to and the jolt made my hair fall forward, stirring the air. His eyes fluttered closed as he breathed in the scent, but his hands remained firm on my forearms.

"Please, Bella, no more," he muttered with his face turned away from mine.

And the spell was broken. I suddenly felt very stupid and childish. Edward couldn't even look at me. He was probably embarrassed about the whole situation on my behalf. I had pushed him too far. He didn't want any of this after all! I sobbed once and lunged for my shirt.

"I'm sorry," Edward began, tortured. I turned away from him as I hastily tried to fix my inside-out camisole. The tears were welling in my eyes now, blurring my vision. How could I have been so rash? Edward had rebuffed all my attempts of intimacy before, why was now any different? Because of one measly conversation? No. I was a stupid little girl who wanted something she couldn't have. He told me his limitations. Why did I insist on pushing them? A tightness settled into my chest, and I sniffed loudly.

"Bella, please don't start crying. I already feel horrible," Edward looked at me pleadingly.

"You feel horrible? How do you think I feel?" I cried, "I, I… put myself out there, just to find out that you… you don't want me."

Edward groaned. I shot him a glare, but his face was so remorseful that my quick retort died in my throat. "There you go again," he started, a smile creeping onto his face, "blaming yourself for my inadequacies."

He took the cami from my trembling fingers and deftly turned it rightside-out, returning it to me. I clutched the cami, staring at it intently, trying to control the tears.

"Bella, it is _because_ I want you that I asked you to stop. Even now it is taking all of my resolve not to overpower you and rip off the rest of your clothes," Edward intoned solemnly. I stared at him wide-eyed, suddenly noticing how tightly his fingers were wrapped around the armrest and the rigidity of his posture. He _was_ struggling against _something_.

His face became strained with concern, "You are perfectly safe with me. I have myself under firm control." He took account of my expression and added fervently, "I hope I don't scare you."

"No," I stated truthfully. "I'm not afraid. But I am surprised that... I… I didn't think you were able to react like this."

"Let me make this entirely clear to you," Edward began with a grin. "In the last few moments I have thought of over a hundred different excuses that would allow me to take you on this couch this very instant."

My throat went dry, and the air between us became charged with passion once again. After I took a moment to recover myself, I said, "I'm still having trouble believing that you want this. You looked so… apprehensive."

"Oh?" he countered. "Well, if you still need convincing, I'll prove it to you." In one deft movement, Edward's shirt joined mine on the floor.

I could not rip my eyes away from his chest. His body was so perfectly formed- muscular, chiseled, with all the right angles. My eyes roved over his shoulders, stomach, and chest, hungrily devouring the sight that I had only dreamed of. I wordlessly reached a hand towards him.

Gently, Edward took my wrist, guiding my hand to cover his heart. As our skin touched, my mind went wild. I struggled to remain in control of my body. Edward gauged my expression before he placed his own hand over my chest. Although I'm sure it was already evident to him, I was embarrassed by the jumping, spluttering beats of my heart.

We stayed like that for a moment. I was desperately trying to desensitize myself to his godlike beauty, willing this sweet experimentation never to end. Edward's lips were set in a hard line of determination which made his face even more glorious.

"Do you hear my heart?" I whispered. Edward nodded once, his eyes straying from my face to drift down my body. "It's yours," I stated simply.

"As is mine," he said sweetly.

Edward cupped my chin with his other hand, smoothly pulling me towards him. He ducked his head to catch my lips with his own, and as our faces met, so did our bodies. Electricity sparked between us as it did when our hands met for the first time so long ago. After the initial shock, I was able to fully appreciate the significance of the moment.

Edward's mouth was moving against mine, easily, gracefully. His hands were pressed to the small of my back, while my arms were wrapped around his neck. I opened my mouth wider to deepen the kiss, and when he reacted, his sweet taste was almost too much to bear. Edward's hands gripped my sides, pulling me against him.

I reached behind him to trace my fingers along his spine and he moaned gently, burying his face into the curve of my neck. I marveled at his muscular body, so perfect in every way. I lingered over his shoulder blades, letting my hands travel the length of his back, familiarizing myself with his body.

Edward's hands were working a similar pattern along my back, but his movements were much more persistent and focused, as if his hands were trying to memorize my body. Yet, they also had a barely contained power behind them. The slow, controlled motions of before were quickly escalating into fast, yearning strokes.

My mouth traveled up his neck, along his jaw line, and as he turned his face greedily to mine, I became utterly lost in his kiss. The emotions intensified to the point of bubbling over. My breaths were coming in gasps, when I remembered to breath at all, and Edward was also breathing heavily. I gripped his shoulders tightly, pressing my breasts against his chest and that seemed to be the last straw. He stiffened, pulling away slightly, but I was having none of it.

I kissed him forcefully, willing him to respond. I continued to trace my hands all over his chest and back, but still he was a stone.

"No," I whispered against his cool lips, my breath warming them for an instant. "Keep going."

"Bella…" He whispered, eyes closed, face unreadable.

"We're practicing. You have to test your boundaries. Keep going." I didn't want to stop just yet, and after this morning, I decided I was going to get my way. I turned my attention to his neck, kissing and caressing. I could tell the sensations were driving him wild.

"You don't…" Edward warned. He paused as I flicked my tongue over his throat. He licked his lips and his voice came out huskier than before, "You don't understand," Edward mumbled.

"Make me." I whispered silkily into his ear.

Then abruptly, one of those sudden changes that I could never quite understand came over Edward, and he stared at me intently. "With pleasure," he growled. And in a motion faster than I could follow, Edward shifted me so that I was tilted against the armrest. Still recovering from the quicker than natural change in position, it was hard for me to perceive at first what Edward was doing. But whatever it was… it was mind-blowing.

He was everywhere at once. His hands were in my hair and then along my spine, caressing my throat, stroking the inside of my thigh. His lips were doing amazing things to my neck, so quickly and so lightly that I couldn't even begin to follow. His smell was more over-powering than ever before, it's heady scent intoxicated me until I was on the point of passing out. It couldn't have lasted more than ten seconds, but my senses were overloaded with Edward and my breathing was coming at a rate that was frantic and almost painful.

My head was spinning, and it was only with great difficulty that I was able to say, "Enough! I understand!" Edward halted immediately, coming to rest beside me with an impish smile on his face. I believe I took almost a full minute to recover my breath and regroup. Finally, I panted, "that was incredible. What pray tell were you doing?"

"Dazzling you," Edward smiled languishingly, "only to a slightly heightened degree," he needled playfully, running his fingers through my hair.

"You're telling me," I breathed, willing my heart to subside from its crazy pounding. "Where on earth did that come from?"

"You, actually." Edward smoothed my hair, and brought my head to rest against his chest. "That moment when you took command for once… when you told me what you wanted. That was… sexy," he grinned.

I was surprised that I had been the one to spark the encounter. Until that moment, I had thought Edward had come to some internal decision himself. It seemed that I had much more control over his actions than I thought before.

"I'll keep that in mind," I said, in response to Edward but also to my own discovery.

Edward kissed my forehead. We laid on the couch a long while. I felt so safe and loved and peaceful. I never wanted it to end. The moment seemed to stretch into infinity until I woke to Edward stroking my cheek.

"We should go," he murmured, "Remember, it's girl's night, and I don't think either of us want Alice to take me hostage like she threatened."

I woke gradually, slowly shaking off the sleep. I hadn't realized I'd drifted off. "Mmmk," I muttered, drowsily trying to sit up. Edward chuckled and gathered me in his arms. I rested my head on his shoulder while he carried me across the room. I must have been really tired, because the next time I opened my eyes, we were in his car, idling outside his house.

"Edward?" I asked, as my eyes searched for his. He wasn't quick enough to conceal his expression of concern before he turned to face me. He had been regarding the house with apprehension. I was awake instantly.

Quicker than lightening, my hand was in his and he kissed each one of my fingers, just below the knuckles as he said, "Remember always that it is you I love." There was an dire quality to his voice, like he was bracing himself for something.

"Of course," I whispered, nervous at Edward's obvious lack of composure. Edward locked eyes with me, and I couldn't read the powerful emotions playing behind them. It frightened me.

"Kiss me," I pleaded. Edward obeyed, the urgency in his voice translating to his actions. He crushed my lips against his, holding me a little tighter and a little longer than usual.

When we parted, he pressed his forehead against mine, his eyes closed in concentration. "What's wrong?" I queried.

"Alice is waiting for you," he replied simply, and then grimaced, "and so is Kate."

I trembled, Edward's apprehension spilling into me as I remembered the strange rival from Denali I had never met. I looked at the Cullen family's familiar, welcoming home with newfound fear.

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_So- I've received an overwhelming amount of "favs" and "story alerts" for this piece over the past few weeks- so I know you're out there reading this! Reviews are very appreciated, ranging anywhere from "cute" to an in-depth criticism of my grammar. It really brightens my day to know what you guys think of my writing. So please review!_


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